| Dear Carolyn: I’m a full-time graduate student, and I recently got married to my long-term partner. The wedding was everything I hoped for and one of the happiest days of my life. It would not have been possible if my parents and his hadn’t covered most of the costs in a 50/50 split. I’m very grateful to them! Unfortunately, there was a catch. When planning the wedding, my mom and I had a big fight about the guest list. My partner and I wanted to keep it below 100 people. My mom wanted to invite an additional 50 of her friends, many of whom I do not know well or at all. I pushed back hard, both because we wanted the wedding to feel intimate and because I didn’t think it was fair to have my partner’s family cover half the cost of a wedding that so overrepresented my side. As a compromise, my mom proposed throwing a “casual” party sometime after the wedding for her friends. I agreed. After that, my mom became uninterested in the wedding in any way, which I found hurtful. I also heard from multiple family members and friends that my mom had told them they did not need to come to the wedding and could attend the party instead. She denied ever having said this. Now the wedding is past, and the party is almost here. I’ve found out the “casual” party will include over 100 guests, many of whom I barely know, and an open bar; a seated, catered dinner; and planned speeches. My mom also asked me if my brother, who gave a beautiful speech at my wedding, could repeat it at the party. I know I should be grateful she helped to pay for my wedding, but I feel like I’ve entered into a devil’s bargain. I feel like she’s taken my wedding and marriage and turned them into props for her social life. I’m so angry at her and don’t know how I can behave graciously at this event where I will be the center of (unwanted) attention. How can I navigate this situation without seriously damaging my relationship with my mom, or appearing like a giant sulky brat in front of 100 strangers? — Reluctant Repeat Bride | 
