Is our generation putting an end to traditional dating?
Recently, an article from Vogue UK that questioned whether having a boyfriend is embarrassing got the internet in a tizzy. Even New York City’s mayor-elect couldn’t escape talking about it. It was effectively a question that got people talking (Gen Z and Millennials in particular) about a bigger cultural shift for rewriting the rules of love and why traditional dating may no longer be a blueprint that people want to follow.
The conversation is now everywhere. On a recent podcast episode of Armchair Expert, Reese Witherspoon even discussed the changes, referencing the lack of rom-coms to turn to nowadays for relationship guidance.
Moreover, a recent report from Hinge found evidence of the real-time breakup with what has been considered dating norms. One of the top findings in the report was a desire for deeper connections. Chill vibes? Yes. But when it comes to relationships, Gen Z said that they want to find authenticity, emotional safety, and shared values—not just situationships. Though when it comes to “rules,” survey respondents said they prefer fluid timelines and expectations over traditional relationship milestones.
One key finding of Hinge’s report is a communication gap. In part, this is due to the unwillingness to “go deep” in early dating. The survey found that “Gen Z doesn’t think their dates ask enough questions, so closing the 'question deficit' can make for better dates and stronger connections. In fact, 85% of daters are more likely to want a second date when they’re asked thoughtful questions.” Additionally, Gen Z men reported struggling with how they will be perceived, which has led 48% to “hold back from emotional intimacy because they don’t want to seem like ‘too much’.”
This shift in dating is most visible on TikTok, where modern trends from Shrekking and throning are being processed in real time.
Here’s the takeaway: Gen Z isn’t anti-love—they’re just over the performance.