FUCHS PAYING FULL PRICE!

Once upon a time, Black Friday required you to wake up at 4am to the slow hum of air filters cleaning your room of turkey farts, and the soft beeping of your in-laws' glucose monitors in adjacent rooms as they battle diabetes from the previous night's dessert course. Bloated and hungover, you'd drag your buttcheeks to the mall and wait in lineups for longer than the Epstein List, just to stomp over people to get 50% off of a Sega Dreamcast. You had a purpose. You had a mission. You had a Dreamcast.

Those days are over, so we invented Fuchsia Friday, a lazier and easier way to get a fat deal! While fascism is all about taking away, Fuchsism is all about giving back... This Fuchsia Friday we've slashed Windscribe Pro prices lower than the global replacement level fertility rate! Get Pro for only $29 smackarooski doodledooskis per year - with all of our fastest servers, unlimited bandwidth, P2P, insane speed improvements and the ability to lord over free users with your nose up, how Parisian!

It's Time To Fuchsing Upgrade!

It's the best sale of the year, c'mon, $29 buckerooskies, FOREVER?! In this economy?! It's so cheap we're losing money on this deal! How are we handling that? Easy! No year-end bonuses for our employees! That's right! Once Christmas rolls around, their children will be getting lumps of coal as presents! Coal demand will skyrocket! American coal mines will re-open! The American economy will boom! Americans will finally be able to comfortably eat Arby's Beef N' Cheddar sandwiches while sitting on their toilets... again! Ammmeee-hehe-ricaaaaa!

• Access all locations - 69+ countries and 134+ cities
• Unlimited Data - Stream it all. Yes, everything.
• P2P, IP Pinning and more - All the succulent features, just for you!

Upgrade Now for $29!

All jokes aside, we're very thankful to all of our users, though slightly more for Pro users because beef jerky and fiber supplements aren't free - and it's all we provide our staff for sustenance. Hard stools & great security tools - that's the Windscribe motto. It isn't. Not sure why we said that. Anyways, thanks for using Windscribe, it means a heck of a lot to all of us here.

Love, peace, and turkey grease!
Team Windscribe