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Let’s call it love at first byte. The AI-obsessed tech generation isn’t just trying to achieve the singularity. They’re trying to use machine learning to more effectively hook up. The Minglelarity is the new Singularity. I’m hardly the person to cast aspersions on those who mix love and computers. I’ve had a decades-long affair with my MacBook Air; it’s resting on my lap and warming my cock-les as we speak. But after reading about Amanda Hess’s recent visit to the “Love Symposium, a freewheeling gathering of ‘earnest founders, experts, and intellectuals’ with an interest in ‘proliferating healthy connection at scale,’ where founders are determined to use AI to address their “certain way of thinking about human relationships: as problems that could be measured, optimized and solved,” I wonder if we all need to settle down and keep our clicks in our pants. I am as awed by anyone at the remarkable power of AI, but nothing can “solve” human relationships. NYT (Gift Article): Can You Optimize Love? “A group of tech executives, app developers and Silicon Valley philosophers is seeking to streamline the messy matters of the heart.” I doubt our aging energy grid is ready for this new version of human interactivity. My love consummation alone would consume enough data center energy to power a large city for a week. (I can’t even imagine the voltage dip if others were involved...)
2
Natural Born Miller
Point: It’s hard to name the worst member of the Trump administration. Counterpoint: It’s Stephen Miller. “In Trump’s inner circle—even with the president himself—Miller is known as a dogmatic force whose ideas are sometimes too extreme for public consumption. I’d love to have him come up and explain his true feelings—maybe not his truest feelings,’ the president joked at an Oval Office briefing in October. But in Trump’s second term, Miller finds himself at the height of his powers—the pulsing human id of a president who is already almost pure id.” The Atlantic (Gift Article): The Wrath of Stephen Miller.
+ NYT (Gift Article): Stephen Miller Offers a Strongman’s View of the World. “Mr. Miller, 40, grew up in wealthy Santa Monica, Calif., and attended a left-leaning high school. There, he was once booed and yanked off the stage during a campaign speech for student government in which a central plank of his platform was to investigate school janitors for inadequately picking up trash. His former classmates recalled that he seemed to enjoy the attention.” (Since we just segued from love making to Stephen Miller, I’m going to pause for a minute to give you time to hose the vomit off your computer screen.)
3
Pyramid Scheme
“In a striking reversal of past nutrition guidance, the Trump administration released new dietary guidelines on Wednesday that flip the food pyramid on its head, putting steak, cheese and whole milk near the top. The new guidelines urge Americans to prioritize protein and avoid the sugary, processed foods that health secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has said are poisonous to health.” (Some of that sounds right. Some of that sounds wrong. That’s the kind of hit and miss results you get when you do science without the scientists.) Kennedy Flips Food Pyramid to Emphasize Red Meat and Whole Milk.
+ If you’re interested, here’s a look at the whole shebang, which kicks off with a typically Trumpist lede: “These Guidelines mark the most significant reset of federal nutrition policy in our nation’s history.”
4
Tainted Love
“Our very own Victoria Song braved the taint-zapping booth at CES 2026, which is exactly what it sounds like: a device that sends electrodes into a man’s perineum, with the goal of preventing premature ejaculation. The device, called Mor, is attached to an adhesive patch containing electrodes that you, well, stick on your taint.” The Verge: The weirdest tech we’ve seen at CES 2026.
+ “CLOiD – which stands at slightly less than five feet tall and has a digital display for eyes – trundled across the stage on wheels and waved to conference attendees with its two hands. It then slowly loaded a single piece of clothing into a washing machine — almost painfully slowly.” But it will speed up. And 2026 is shaping up to be the year of the robots. Bloomberg (Gift Article): Humanoid Robots Pour Coffee, Fold Laundry at CES. Painfully Slowly. (Hey, when you’re done folding my laundry, can you help me pull this thing off my taint?)
5
Extra, Extra
Calculating Risk: “An urgent meeting had been requested by the foreign ministers of Greenland and Denmark, which has said that any invasion or seizure of the territory by its NATO ally would mark the end of the western military alliance and ‘post-second world war security.’” Marco Rubio says he will meet Danish officials to discuss Greenland next week. (Offend allies, empower enemies. That’s the Trump doctrine.)
+ Ice Age: “An ICE agent shot and killed a woman Wednesday morning in south Minneapolis. ICE says the woman was shot in her car after attempting to run over agents. Mayor Jacob Frey and witnesses are disputing ICE’s version of events.” Frey, Walz dispute that ICE killed woman in self-defense. “Frey said he’d seen video of the confrontation and said ICE was “already trying to spin this as an act of self-defense. That is bullshit. This was an agent recklessly using power … that resulted in someone dying, getting killed ... The narrative that this was done in self-defense is a garbage narrative.’”
+ Oil Spillover: “The split screen of the government’s leading a show of support for an unpopular authoritarian leader while cracking down on his critics was especially striking because the United States is now supporting that government.” Maduro Is Gone, but Repression in Venezuela Has Intensified. Gonna be tough to pour oil on this troubled water. Meanwhile, U.S. seizes Russian-flagged oil tanker linked to Venezuela after weekslong pursuit.
+ Pay to Play: “Youth sports has transformed over the past two decades, from low-cost grassroots programs run mostly by local groups into a high-priced industry filled with club teams, specialized training and travel tournaments staged at gleaming youth sports complexes — changes fueled, in part, by a surge in private equity and venture capital investment.” WaPo (Gift Article): The soaring price of youth sports: $50 to try out, $3,000 to play. (This is one of the many ways the economic divide leads to a social divide.)
+ Stalled Progress: “Nearly 60 women lawmakers in Japan, including Prime Minister Sanae Takaichi, have submitted a petition calling for more toilets in the parliament building to match their improved representation.” 73 women. One restroom and two stalls.
+ Irish Sling: Here’s a pretty interesting football stat: Quarterbacks from Notre Dame have lost 25 consecutive starts in the NFL over the past 14 seasons.
+ Quit Claim: “According to my brain, I knew I was in Echo Park, the LA neighborhood that’s home to Dodgers Stadium. But whether it was the real Echo Park or a simulation, a convincing-enough mix of new highrises and grungy cottages in imitation of Echo Park, I wasn’t sure. For several hours, I’d been haunted by yellow-tinted hallucinations, sweeping in and out of my mind like searchlights, which told me I might’ve slipped between worlds.” Rosecrans Baldwin in GQ: A Cautionary Tale Against Quitting Zyn—or Anything—Cold Turkey.