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On Monday, the president took a break from ranting about Bad Bunny’s “affront to the Greatness of America” to warn our northern neighbors that they’re on the brink of cultural annihilation.
“Prime Minister Carney wants to make a deal with China — which will eat Canada alive. We’ll just get the leftovers!” he screeched. “The first thing China will do is terminate ALL Ice Hockey being played in Canada, and permanently eliminate The Stanley Cup.”
Grandpa Simpson rattled off his usual list of grievances about dairy tariffs and liquor boycotts before announcing a new target: the soon-to-be-opened bridge connecting Windsor, Ontario and Detroit, Michigan.
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Almost every part of this post is a lie.
Build the bridge
Named for the Canadian hockey legend, the Gordie Howe Bridge was first conceived more than 20 years ago as a bi-national endeavor.
