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Last Saturday, I wrote to you about Stress and Chickens. It’s a stressful time. Tonight, I’m following up on that with your ideas for beating the angst.
When I wrote to you last weekend, I was thinking about the fact that we live in a time where there’s always something. These days, sometimes three things between midnight and 6 am. We all need to stress less. The chickens are always cute and relaxing. They are such ham bones, and they make me happy. I also mentioned a woman from the Charlotte Indivisible chapter who mentioned she and her friends keep an agenda of joy that they use, and that idea has stayed with me.
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Last weekend, I asked you to share how you were handling stress in the comments, in hopes we could help each other compile our own agendas of joy. ICE was still occupying Minneapolis, and we were all wearing thin. But your suggestions were just what I needed to read, full of happiness and insight into how important it is to take care of ourselves right now.
So, I’ve compiled a list of your ideas—we are definitely a community of animal lovers! But more than that, we are smart about playing the long game. We understand we’re running a marathon for democracy, not a sprint, and that means taking good care of ourselves.
How Civil Discourse readers said they’re handling stress right now:
1) Spending time with animals (the #1 most-mentioned coping tool) as an instant nervous system reset.
Cuddling/petting dogs and cats (including “borrowing” a friend’s dog, or saying hi to dogs out in the world), hanging out with chickens or looking at chicken photos for a quick dose of calm (I can definitely keep the chicken photos coming)
Watching wildlife: birds at feeders/bird baths, squirrels, deer, bunnies, even neighborhood turkeys (This crazy expensive birdfeeder/camera, which someone suggested, is on sale right now and I think I might try it)
Animal-related routines that force a reset: daily dog walks, barn chores, caring for foster kittens, etc. and therapy-style moments: bringing dogs to campuses/hospitals, or offering “puppy fixes” to stressed students
Being around bigger animals too: horses, goats, alpacas, pigs (“anything non-human”)
2) Movement + Fresh Air (even when it’s freezing)
Walking (often daily) and making it a non-negotiable: around the block, on trails, or along a lake/shoreline, hiking and trail running to get fully absorbed in scenery + effort
Cold-weather movement: cross-country skiing, snowshoeing, even “bundle up and go anyway” walks
Gym time, workouts at the Y, rowing/weights, Pilates, Yoga and related practices (including chair yoga, hot yoga, qigong)
Other outdoor breaks: kayaking, rafting, riding a horse to the river, beach time when possible
3) Escapist reading and comfort TV
Reading to escape (especially mysteries and “other places/other times”), fiction as a mental vacation (mystery, detective, cozy mystery, fantasy, spy novels, historical fiction)
Series in particular: the predictable comfort of returning to familiar characters and worlds, older classics for refuge (Jane Austen came up more than once) and don’t forget audiobooks for hands-busy or eyes-tired days, and reading at night (or in the middle of the night) instead of doomscrolling
Comfort TV, especially watching sports as an antidote (Olympics were mentioned constantly, also basketball, gymnastics, curling, Super Bowl)
British/Korean/other international shows as “safe escape” viewing and rewatching familiar series (favorites like The West Wing, Schitt’s Creek, ER, etc.)
Movies at a local theater/art house as a deliberate “leave the house and focus” reset and silly/wholesome internet viewing: baby laugh videos, funny animal videos, light YouTube channels
4) Making things with your hands
Knitting (More on this later this week—have you seen the resurgence of the red protest hats from WWII-era Norway?), Crochet (granny squares, scarves, blankets, amigurumi)
Quilting and sewing (piecing quilt tops, finishing quilts, mending/repair projects), needlepoint, macramé, beading, jewelry-making
Origami (including folding with friends at a library), puzzles and games that fully occupy attention: jigsaws, Mah Jong, Scrabble, Qwirkle, etc., and woodworking
5) Art, creativity, and learning new skills
Drawing classes, Watercolor and painting, Pottery/sculpture/fabrication and studio time
Writing (poems, memoir-ish projects, novels, ancestry books, daily journals)
Taking classes in non-political topics (horticulture, ecology, conservation, poetry, music)
Learning or returning to instruments (piano lessons came up a lot, also ukulele, drumming)
6) Music as medicine
Listening to music (jazz stations were a favorite, also classical and Broadway)
Playing music (Bach/scale practice, chamber music, rehearsing with friends, open mic nights)
Singing in choirs or choruses, many described it as both calming and energizing
Dancing (from Bad Bunny dance breaks to “walk to disco beats” when dancing isn’t possible)
7) Cozy comforts at home
Cooking and baking (cookies, soup, comfort meals, sharing food with friends/neighbors—I’ve been doing a lot of this!)
Tea/coffee rituals; sitting by the fire or fireplace; warm blankets, scented candles/seasonal fragrance; hot baths; sauna/infrared sauna; a few even ordered a hot tub
Small “treat” comforts: chocolate came up a lot; wine/martinis/chardonnay did too
8) People, community, and the ‘we’re not alone’ effect
Hosting or attending small gatherings (birthday parties, potlucks, watch parties, lunches with friends)
Spending time with family, especially grandchildren (and “granddogs”), walking with friends, venting with a spouse/partner, or having a group text for humor and support
Acts of kindness: saying hello on trails, helping strangers, bringing flowers, buying coffee for others
9) Doing something purposeful (volunteering, civic action, helping others)
Showing up: protests, sign-waving, overpass banner actions, organizing local events, volunteering and community work (League of Women Voters, advocacy groups, Audubon, school board/city meetings)
Democracy “small actions”: postcards, voter registration, calling reps, donations, boycotts, “ICE watch” efforts