| Dear Carolyn: I’m an almost-70-year-old woman with metastatic cancer that is progressing. Treatment might extend my life a bit, but my days are numbered. Would it be inappropriate to host one last, big gala party and invite everyone I love to fly in, stay at a hotel and celebrate with me — i.e., the way people fly in for a wedding or funeral? Having a party on a random day might seem odd, but I cannot throw this on my birthday because it’s Christmas Day and most of my friends are off visiting their grandkids. I have friends and family all over the world and think many would be happy to come out for one last big party, if I arranged it at an “offseason” time when flights and hotels are cheaper. I know they would likely fly in for a funeral to honor my life with my only child. I’d much rather enjoy this celebration of life with them than have them spend the same money after I’m gone. Is this a narcissistic desire? If not, then how would I word such an invitation? It sounds a bit ghoulish to say, “Come have fun with me one last time before I kick the bucket.” My daughter is all for this and would also prefer a big celebration of life while I’m still here to enjoy it with her, then a small, low-key funeral that distant friends can attend via Zoom. — Not Dead Yet | 
