Today I turn 40. Here are 40 life lessons from my 40 years.

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This one makes me cry every time.

All my daughter wanted was $2 to buy a toy. My wife said she had to do chores to earn it. Each chore she did earned her $1.

Within a day she’d done two chores and earned her $2. She really wanted these toy eggs. The look on her face melted my heart. Her sweet little voice begging for the toy was impossible for me to ignore.

But what made me emotional was the thought of being cruel.

I cannot stand to be cruel to my two daughters in any way. It’s because my childhood was extremely cruel to me. I spent my younger years surrounded by criminals.

I saw people get punched, stabbed, and robbed every day. I hated every minute of it.

The thought of me being cruel to my daughters with things they want to buy is too much. It gets me every time. It goes deeper. I grew up with no money. I now never want to NOT be able to provide for my daughters.

I want them to have all the things I couldn’t afford (without spoiling them). I want them to experience Disney World that I didn’t get to go to until I was 32.

The other night my daughter was misbehaving. My wife told her if she didn’t eat her dinner it would be taken away and she would starve (normal parental discipline). But I couldn’t handle it. It felt cruel. I once again felt emotional.

Nobody tells you that having kids turns you into a giant p*ssy with a heart full of love.

That is lesson one. Here are 39 other life lessons from my 40 years.

2. “Trust me, bro” doesn’t work.
   
   You must have proof of work. Proof of competence. Proof of skill. Social proof. If there’s nothing to evaluate, the risk of betting on you is too high.
   

3. Burnout isn’t real.
   
   You only experience burnout when you live a life you shouldn’t be living and do nothing about it. Stress is good for you.
   
   If you run from it and call it burnout, you’re missing the point. Eliminate the bullsh*t work, not the stress. Time off doesn’t fix it. Changing your life does.
   

4. The only way to be a loser is to be afraid of losing.
   
   Pessimism is low IQ. You won’t know anything unless you try. And the way you learn is by losing. So not losing equals zero learning. You gotta love losing if you want to win.
   

5. Your life isn’t unique.
   
   Everyone else is facing death, sickness, money problems, job loss, and uncertainty too. Once you understand your life is the same as millions of other people’s you can stop letting excuses hold you back. Yes, life is hard. But what are you going to do about it? Delay? Complain? Wait? Just f*cking get going.
   

6. Understand everyone’s secret incentive.
   
   It’ll help you make better decisions. And it’ll stop you from getting scammed. A person’s bias is your opportunity. See it. Verbalize it. Then make an informed decision.
   

7. Most problems make sense when you apply basic logic.
   
   Instead of looking for complex solutions, break down the problem and analyze it. What seems logical? That becomes your starting point.
   

8. Understand human psychology to become wealthy.
   
   And to get people to take the actions you want to take. People do things out of selfishness, not compassion or virtue.
   

9. Everyone needs someone to mind f*ck them.
   
   Tony Robbins did it for me. For others, it’s Dan Koe. Find your person and let them challenge your view of the world. Let them stress test it.
   

10. If your focus is to always save money or cap downside, you’ll never be wealthy.
    Good news is it’s easy to change.
    

11. No one who said “in 3 months will be the right time” achieves their dreams.
    
    Avoid these people like the plague. A dream is a daily habit that starts today. If you can’t even work on it for 10 mins a day today, you’re not serious.
    

12. Many opportunities are lottery tickets in disguise.
    
    Sell SaaS. Write a best-selling book. Sell $50 digital products. Run a $5/month Substack. People are tricked easily into these paths because they look easy. But they’re actually dumb. People win lottery tickets. Doesn’t mean you should try to too.
    

13. All the psychological labels give people permission to be mediocre.
    
    “It’s not me. It’s because I’m introverted.” Don’t outsource your potential and identity to a made-up human label. Your brain can literally rewire itself to believe anything and to heal from anything.
    

14. The most life-changing rabbit hole I went down is neuroplasticity.
    
    Nerd out on it. Understand it. Experiment with it. Your entire life can change because of neuroplasticity. It’s the antidote to boredom, procrastination, laziness, and feeling stuck.
    

15. Selling is just helping. Learn how to help people and you’ll make a lot of sales without having to try and sell.
    

16. When people call you cringy, they really just mean “I wish I could do that.”
    
    I love being cringe. It means I’m acting weird and refusing to fit in and that’s my zone of genius. What you want to avoid is being unremarkable.
    

17. Not taking risks is disrespecting yourself.
    
    You won’t know unless you take a risk. And 99% of decisions are reversible anyway. In the future you'll appreciate the chances you took — regardless of the outcome.
    

18. Relying on fantasies hurts you.
    
    Many people fall for this delusion. They think the result they crave is inevitable. Most results are insanely hard to achieve and require more effort that is hard to imagine. Focus on actions. The memories of doing — not dreaming — are what compound over time.
    

19. Most luck is hard work and networking compounding over so much time that you forget you were even building it.
    
    Luck is earned. It’s proof of work. It’s when what you do is undeniable and you appear serious due to the library of experiences and moments you’ve shared.
    

20. Aim to be a practitioner – not a leader, influencer, or guru.
    
    People trust practitioners more. The barrier to entry is work and effort. Anyone with a low IQ can do it. While it’s simple it’s hard. And most people won’t do it, so there’s little competition.
    

21. Your nightmares reveal your fears.
    
    Mine are about failing high school and something happening to my daughters. High school isn’t important to me, but being self-made is. You can’t stop nightmares. But you can use them to tell you what’s important.
    

22. “Get good grades. Get a good job. Stay for 40 years. Retire at 65.” Tech killed this dream. Most haven’t realized.