| Dear Carolyn: My spouse and I are getting into the older side of our lives, and Spouse’s body is starting to betray him, as usually happens. Spouse is going through a lot of emotions about it and is also a person who needs to experience things before they can even sympathize with others. I’m trying to be supportive, but some of Spouse’s attitude is a bit much for me, a person who has struggled with some chronic diseases since childhood. I was always asked to fight through my difficulties and put on a good face regardless of the situation, or just not participate. I can’t lie, there is a bit of schadenfreude creeping in. Recently, Spouse has started talking about avoiding activities for issues I have powered through — for Spouse — for years. I’m kind of mad! Why should our lives stop because Spouse is the one who is (finally) feeling constraints? I realize that I chose to stress myself in the past, but where is the equality here? I’m expected to stop life for Spouse, while Spouse never stopped life for me. How do I frame the frustration I feel in a more productive way than, “I’ve been trying to explain this to you for 25 years, I guess it sucks to be you now”? — Frustrated | 
