| Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: When my mom was dying, I couldn’t deal. I was just 20. My sister and three brothers all hunkered down and took care of her, slept on the floor around her, and I fled. Not my proudest moment. One afternoon, right before she died, my mom was very alert. She told stories about her childhood, dad and us and laughed a lot. My eldest brother took video and we thought it was lost in flooding shortly after her death but he found it, digitized it and then put it up on the TV for all 31 of us to watch after a recent holiday dinner. Surprise! In the video, my mom addresses me directly — saying she loves me to pieces and if she doesn’t see me before she passes, she still loves me to pieces. I am so so so angry at my brother for sharing the video. That afternoon with our mom is a legend in our family. Our kids all know about it. I had never told my children or my husband my shameful behavior. I could see the confusion and pain on their faces. I am working through it with my kids and husband but I’m so very angry at my brother. He said he thought those words would be comforting. I told him I expect an apology. He said he’s not going to apologize for sharing the video. So, now I am just avoiding him. Shouldn’t he have at least warned me that the video was coming? Didn’t I have a right to tell my kids and husband about my shameful behavior before the video? — Dredging Up a Bad Memory | 
