He wants an open marriage. I don’t. Is it over? Hax readers give advice. Dear Carolyn: My husband of 20-plus years recently told me he’s polyamorous, has been avidly learning about the lifestyle and thinks the only way he can be truly happy and fulfilled is if we open up our marriage. I love him and am planning to be with him for life. But I have no interest in any level of polyamory for myself. The thought of him even dating other women is so upsetting that I’m pretty sure I would rather get divorced than watch him do that. I’ve told him clearly I’m not interested in making this agreement, and I do trust that he wouldn’t cheat on me. But I feel like this puts us in a no-win scenario where either: 1. He denies who he really is. 2. I have to live in a hell of jealousy and sorrow. 3. We go our separate ways — which neither of us wants. His view of polyamory is that it’s the more enlightened way to live, that more love is always better, that jealousy doesn’t have any place in a good relationship, etc. I honestly don’t even think it’s about sex, maybe 10 percent. He’s assuming I’ll see the light eventually because to him it’s obviously a better way to live. And I’m assuming this is some sort of midlife crisis that might blow over. I know he’s wrong about me, but say I’m wrong about him, too. Are there any options besides 1, 2 and 3? — Crossroads Carolyn’s been writing her advice column for two decades. Explore the archives below. | 
