Hello Fuckoff,

You've cut out screens, bought a sound machine, tried an eye mask — and you're still staring at the ceiling at midnight.

Here's the thing nobody tells you: sleep hygiene isn't one dramatic overhaul. It's a handful of tiny habits, done consistently, at exactly the right times.

Most people are only doing two or three of them, at best. Let's look at what's actually missing from yours right now.

The sleep habits you're probably missing

Fifteen deep breaths, fifteen ounces of water, fifteen minutes of sunshine — that's the 15-15-15 rule. Add an earlier caffeine cutoff, well-timed exercise, and a schedule built around your chronotype, and you've got a real sleep reset.

Quick wins for your best night yet

Is Your Bedroom Air Working Against You?

Too dry and you can't breathe. Too damp and mold moves in. There's a surprisingly narrow sweet spot most bedrooms miss entirely.

Stop the 3AM Wake-Up Before It Starts

Waking at 3am isn't random — it's cortisol. Here's the exact routine Dr. B uses to stop the spike before it starts.

Every sleep problem looks a little different depending on your internal clock. Are you a Lion, Bear, Wolf, or Dolphin? Take two minutes to find your chronotype, then get a plan built around when your body actually wants to sleep.