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Isabel Fattal: If you could go back in time and travel to Paris with Mark Twain, would you?
Caity Weaver: Could I be assured of a safe return?
Isabel: Yes, for imagination’s sake.
Caity: Absolutely. I would go anywhere with him. One of the things I was struck by when I reread this book before my trip was how unbelievably funny it is. Of course I knew that Mark Twain was “a humorist,” but there were sections where I was laughing out loud. I think a lot of times when people think of old books, they get an idea in their head of a book that’s really stuffy or boring. But this was cracklingly interesting.
As a reader, it’s rewarding to come across prose like that. As a writer, it’s extremely irritating and intimidating. This man was funnier than I’ll ever be, and he did it in 1869.
Isabel: Do you have a favorite line or passage from the book?
Caity: There was a section where he wrote about what he calls “the Old Travelers”—well-traveled know-it-alls you sometimes encounter abroad: “They will not let you know anything. They sneer at your most inoffensive suggestions; they laugh unfeelingly at your treasured dreams of foreign lands; they brand the statements of your traveled aunts and uncles as the stupidest absurdities.”
Isabel: If you could ask Twain one question about his trip, what would it be?
Caity: I would say: “Sam, Mr. Clemens, did you go to the Louvre? Did you set foot inside the Louvre, really?” I can’t prove that he didn’t, but I strongly suspect that he didn’t. And I feel like he would tell me. Can’t kid a kidder.
Isabel: You write in your story about the possibility that Twain was ashamed about not understanding the art at the Louvre. Does visiting Paris make a person feel like they need to have a certain level of cultural knowledge? Did you feel intimidated at any point?
Caity: I feel like a completely idiotic, disorganized, disheveled crumb bum anywhere, but especially in Paris. It’s like walking into a very fancy hotel lobby. Some people are going to be really comfortable there, and some people are going to think, Am I gonna be arrested for walking into this hotel lobby? Paris is so just-so. I find it to be an intimidating place. The combination of not really speaking the language and the city being so beautiful … I felt a little bit on edge there.
Isabel: I have one bone to pick with you. I think you were eating wrong in Paris. You didn’t eat anything yummy!
Caity: I sure didn’t. (Well, I had great ramen.)
Isabel: What went wrong?
Caity: I didn’t eat anything I absolutely loved except the butter. I had a crêpe suzette—delicious, and thrilling to have a small fire caused in a restaurant at your behest. I had some croissants. I really was hoping to be able to write, “Oh my God, I found the best croissant in the world,” and I just don’t think I did.
But the butter: unbelievably good. I took so many notes for myself trying to describe the color and the taste of the butter. [Reads through her notes.] I suppose I am an Ugly American, because this is my description of butter: “creamy; has a scent; smells almost like movie theater butter.”
The color was such a rich, deep yellow, almost like how an egg yolk can sometimes tip over into orange. My notes say, “So fatty and rich.” Next bullet point: “like if the whole room were made out of pillows.” And then: “Yes, I realize I am describing a padded cell.” But it was an ultimate richness, softness, like, Just let me roll around in a padded cell. That was how I felt eating this butter. I took dozens of photos in my hotel room trying to capture its exact hue, and failed to.
I encountered another group of Americans in my hotel lobby who were trying to figure out a way to transport butter home in their luggage. I involved myself in their conversation, as Americans do: What if the hotel was willing to store it in a freezer, in an insulated lunch bag? We devoted quite a bit of time to solving this problem.
Isabel: Did they ultimately give up?
Caity: Oh, no, I think they’re probably enjoying that butter right now. I wanted to bring a bunch of dried sausage back to the U.S. And then, after I purchased it, I realized that I could get in trouble for flying with it. I ate so much saucisson in my hotel room so fast. I worried such a dense concentration of salt might cause my heart to shut down. I Googled something like: How much dried sausage too much.
Isabel: I’m feeling better about your food experience now.
Read Caity’s article here.
The Week Ahead
- Homework, a memoir by Geoff Dyer about growing up in postwar England
- Materialists, a romantic comedy starring Dakota Johnson, Chris Evans, and Pedro Pascal (in theaters Friday)
- The 78th annual Tony Awards, hosted by Cynthia Erivo (on CBS and Paramount+ at 8 p.m. ET tonight)