| Dear Carolyn: I’m at a loss. My sister died four years ago unexpectedly — understatement of a lifetime — and devastated all of us. She was my best friend. I miss her daily still. Her husband was left with an infant, toddler and 5-year-old. We — my surviving siblings and families, brother-in-law (“Bill”) and kids, and my parents — all live within walking distance and see one another and help one another out often. Bill has started dating. My sibs and my parents are giving Bill the cold shoulder and are actively rude when he has introduced a date to us, as they left church or when we saw them getting on their bikes for a ride. All these dates are casual, and the kids haven’t met any of them. I want Bill to be happy. I trust he would never marry someone who wouldn’t integrate into our family at some level and love his kids. I don’t fear that we’ll lose the kids. I’m frustrated and embarrassed by my family’s reaction and behavior. What can I say to them to get them to realize their behavior is not fair to Bill and really doing everything to push him away — when they want the exact opposite? — At a Loss | 
