| Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, and I love him so much. I would rather do anything than hurt his feelings. I’ve noticed that, when he gives me presents, what he gives me aren’t things I’m interested in, but things that he wants me to get interested in. For example, he loves snorkeling, but the first time we went, I had a panic attack. He got me snorkeling gear for Christmas that year. He is super into guitar, he plays, but it is not something that I am into at all other than liking to listen to him. For his birthday, I got him this guitar he’s been wanting, then he got me guitar lessons for my birthday. When he asks me what I want, I point him to lists, and he also knows I knit, crochet, do felting and have a loom, so I love yarns, etc. I told him the people at the yarn shop I favor know what I like, but he never went there. I know he gets excited about things we can do together, I really am grateful, but I worry this might indicate an underlying relationship issue about his expectations for me. Because Christmas is coming, he’s asking again, and I’m wondering whether I should raise this issue with him. — I Am Me Read your responses to this week’s reader question COLUMN By Carolyn Hax and Haben Kelati | | | |
