| Dear Carolyn: My partner of almost 25 years, “Mary,” started perimenopause around 10 years ago, and her menopause symptoms have gotten progressively worse. Our son, then 5, is now 15 and he sees only this version of his mother — not the positive, interested person she was for so many years. Mary also devalues and damages her friendships, holding people to unrealistic standards, reading the worst possible interpretation of actions and comments, often believing her friends don’t like her or think she is stupid. Her work also suffers from negative self-talk. After trying several prescription options, she used one that brought her back to the optimistic and positive person she was before. Unfortunately, there was a side effect of nausea, so she stopped taking the medication and her symptoms returned. She’s now refusing to try other options or return to the gynecologist, and when I try to encourage her, I’m told I don’t understand and have no empathy for her situation. I know I’m not experiencing this personally, but nausea seems to me a small price to pay for all the mental upside. I don’t think she can see how bad her frame of mind has become and how it is impacting her relationships. — The Change |
